By Megan Peters

I love the idea of a wedding wishes jar rather than a guest sign in book. Often a guestbook just gets filled with signatures and leaves pages of empty paper to waste.  Instead of signatures and short messages like “congratulations!” doing a wish & advice jar is a great idea that will possibly give you a more intimate message from your guests. They will have a place to write down all that they want to say right down to some advice on a good marriage.

There are so many options of how you could do this and it’s easy to match with your decor. You can use different color papers, ribbon, pens, and pencils, or whatever you fancy.  You can use apothecary jars, vases, recycled jars, cookie jar, birdcage, or even a specially decorated box for guests to drop their wishes into.

It may be a twist on the traditional but it is guaranteed to leave you with lots of wonderful reading to look back on.  For after the wedding this can be a fun little project to relive all the little messages from your guests. What fun!

By Lauren and Haney

Choosing a venue for your wedding ceremony, reception, or both is not simple. It takes time, and you have to factor in many “not so obvious” elements. We are here to pass some tips to make your search a little easier.

First, return to your wedding vision, and using that as a guide, ask yourselves what your big flick priorities are.  For example…

• Are you trying to be practical about costs?  If so, then what does your budget look like? Are there special offerings or deals currently available?
• Do you want to work with a family friend or friendly staff? Did you review some of the online comments about the place or staff?
• How many people are you inviting? How much space do you need? How personal can you make the experience for your guests when they are in attendance?
• Is there a cultural twist that needs particular décor?
• How important is the menu? Do you want to bring in your own food?
• What is the pre- and post- wedding commute like for your guest?
• Are there symbolic elements that you wish to integrate?

Start your search using the big flick priorities that you’ve developed.  We’ll offer one warning.  It is easy to get carried away thinking about possibilities, letting different people sway your thoughts and your opinions.  Guidance from others is great, but with your priorities decided ahead of time, that will help keep you on the path to success.

Before you start visiting sites, do a little searching yourself online.  Be prepared to block off time, and be patient.  Ask a lot of questions. Trust us, getting your ducks in a row and prioritizing before you start visiting places will save you time and energy—and travel costs if you are planning from afar!

For us, we wanted to pick places that could integrate our two families and highlight the values important to both—building common ground, in one sense.  Both of our families value education very much, and because guests from both sides would have to travel from across the globe, regardless of where we picked, we chose the San Francisco Bay Area as the general locale and middle ground for our festivities.  One of our priorities was maximizing the chances that our friends and families could attend.

With a general locale decided, we narrowed down our locations.  We decided that our wedding ceremony would be at Stanford Memorial Church, while our reception would be at the Garden Court Hotel. Both are fantastic spaces that fit our priorities.  Don’t be fooled into thinking this was an easy choice, however; it took a lot of discussion back and forth and consistent reminders about what was important to us to make these final decisions.

Bottom line is to find something that works within your top priorities. Know that you may have to budge or be flexible, but that’s part of the deal. Don’t lose sight of the big picture pre- or post-venue selection, because you’ll have a lot of other decisions to make from here on out. Get ready to keep plugging away!

By Elizabeth Zachry

I just spent the last three days in Scottsdale, Arizona for a bachelorette party and it got me thinking… What kind of etiquette is there for drinking at weddings?

I am guessing that the wedding party should remain sober (at least until photos and speeches are over), but what about the guests?  I found these photos and could not resist sharing them with you:

Based on these photos I think guests (and the wedding party) should be encouraged to use glasses to prevent them from turning into the cake topper…

Does anyone have any other thoughts on this topic or photos and stories to share?  Send me an e-mail and I will post them!

ezachry@bayareabrideguide.com

By Erin Frank

Wedding ceremonies are steeped in tradition.  Whether you’re reciting centuries-old vows, leading a full Catholic mass before you begin, or simply reading poems or psalms that have special significance for you, your ceremony is full of meaning.  To help your guests get the most out of their experience, let them in on your traditions and practices ahead of time.  Unless you have a husband like mine, who looks up ceremony traditions on Wikipedia before going to the wedding of a couple whose religion we’re unfamiliar with, guests might be confused or feel left out if they don’t know the right dance, response, or significance of important aspects of the celebration.

To help make guests feel right at home, use your program as a primer on anything that might be unfamiliar to guests.  For example, at a recent Jewish wedding we attended, the bride and groom included the following in their program:

“We have incorporated many Jewish traditions in our wedding day.  Our Ketubah, marriage contract, outlines our new responsibilities. We meet as bride and groom  under a Chuppah, a canopy which symbolizes our new home.  The breaking of the glass marks the end of the wedding ceremony. Following the ceremony, we will escape for a moment of seclusion called Yichud to celebrate our marriage.  We’ll see you at the reception in a few!”

Taking the time to write this simple note let guests know better what to expect, allowed them to envision the Chuppah not merely as a canopy but as a symbol of home, and prevented a chorus of questions like “Where are the bride and groom?” at the start of the reception.

Enlist your DJ to help. Is there a group dance coming up?  Have the emcee lead a short tutorial on how to join in. Does a song have particular meaning for the couple? Provide him with a short history of its significance to share before it is played.  Make your guests feel part of your wedding story as it unfolds and their memories of the day, and yours, will be all the richer for it.

By Megan Peters

We finally had our engagement photo shoot. It was a much anticipated event; I really wanted to have more recent photographs of us as a couple.  So our time finally came and we set out to Stanford campus with our fantastic photographer Paula Kirkland.

I was a little worried about being a plus size couple and how our photographs would turn out. I assumed it would be hard to capture our loving moments as well as our best sides. After a handful of photos taken I forgot about all that and just started having fun with my fiancé.

I keep having to remind myself that I like the way I look and I am attracted to my fiancé as he is, so why was I putting so much pressure on getting the perfect pictures. The fact is we are not in perfect shape and our pictures will be the real us. The plus size couple in love.  So here is a celebration of our love and our beautiful engagement photo shoot.

My tip for all of you for your engagement photographs is to wear something comfortable as well something you feel beautiful in.  Then go out there shake off the nerves and just have fun together. That’s when the magic will happen.

By Lauren and Haney

We live in a globalizing world with diversity reaching every last corner of the globe, and that’s why it was important for us to integrate different cultures into our wedding.  We saw this as a chance to bring together our unique backgrounds, while honoring our family and friends. Putting a cultural twist on our ceremony has been both educational and exciting, too!

We built events and details into the big day that add these cultural touches. It was important to us, but beyond that, the multi-cultural integration makes our day approachable for all of our guests. We want our guests to feel special—something we wrote in our vision, and we wanted a day where there was something for everyone.

So we decided to integrate military and Korean traditions: Haney is currently in the US Navy, and he has Korean heritage; Lauren has lived in Korea for three years and thought of the idea of integrating a Korean wedding ceremony—ironically something Haney didn’t know anything about! We have both spent extensive time abroad, and we value our international experiences.

We incorporated all the cultures that are important to us and our guests, and we ultimately decided that we would integrate traditional faith values with a Catholic service, respect to military service through a sword arch, and the international experience and bridge building through a Korean “Paebeck” ceremony for very personal reasons:

Catholic Ceremony: Lauren has grown up in a Catholic community, and we are excited to honor this tradition on our big day. When looking at spaces to host this event we were interested in non-denominational spaces that focused on inter-faith education.

Military Sword Arch: The sword arch is a formal ceremony, carried out by those currently in the Armed Forces and designed to salute the couple. The couple passes under the honorary arch of sabers just after they are announced as a couple. Haney decided we would take a different approach than typical on the sword arch by making it multi-service (i.e., Army, Air Force, and Navy) and dual-gender to pay tribute to the future look of the military.  Having women in the sword arch was especially important.

Korean “Paebaek” Ceremony: The Korean traditional dress and the bowing and tea ceremonies represent the payment of respect to elders; the tossing of dates and chestnuts represent ancient legends, and the number caught by the couple project the number of children the new couple will have; and the comical carrying of the bride and mothers by the groom represents strength. You can learn more here: http://mybridestory.com/paebaek/

These were some of the big ticket multi-cultural pieces we integrated into our wedding ceremony and reception.  But the little details followed suit, too:

• A corkboard world map with pins indicating where each guest is from at the wedding;
• A map on their website that highlights from where our guests are flying
• Tables numbered in three different languages—English, Arabic and Korean
• Korean traditional wedding duck guest favors, each handcrafted and purchased by Lauren abroad. They are tied with “hanji” Korean traditional paper.
• Russell Stover chocolates for the guests from Lauren’s hometown.
• Use of stationery designed by the couple and printed in Hong Kong

Adding an international flair has been fun and really helps us to bridge cultures with guests near and far as we join our two families together.  Doing this was important for us and aligned with the big picture vision we put together, and we would definitely recommend that you find ways to bring together the pieces of both of your lives in a way that connects to your guests.

Next week follow our story to learn how we found the ideal venues to host these ceremonies and accompanying details.

Mazie + Randy’s Music Video Highlights from Vincent Quach on Vimeo.

If you are looking for some fabulous inspiration for your wedding, here it is! This wedding is ecofriendly, with a touch of DIY, and a lot of fun!

Along with some amazing photos, here is the story of Krista and Tim’s wedding told in their own words…

Describe any special parts of the wedding, or people who attended.

The ceremony was created surrounding the 7 foundations we wanted to nurture in our marriage: grace, honesty, generosity, respect, community, growth, and love. Our community of family and friends are a big part of what makes our lives so rich, so it meant a great deal to us to have so many people be a part of our wedding. In addition to the wedding party and officiants, we had Chuppah carriers who not only brought the Chuppah up, but stood surrounding us during the ceremony. It wasn’t supposed to be this way, but there was a strong breeze and the Chuppah wouldn’t have stayed in the holders if our community hadn’t stayed up there with us. It was a perfect accident! The Chuppah was made by Krista’s sister-in-law and sister. Krista’s nephew played guitar and her sister sang during the ceremony. Krista’s father passed away unexpectedly 6 weeks after we returned from the honeymoon, so the time we had at the wedding became more special to us, including our very non-traditional spontaneous father-daughter fast dance where my dad was “getting his groove on”. He had the entire room laughing and dancing!

Why did you choose Boa Ventura as the venue?

We looked at a lot of sites prior to Boa Ventura. We wanted something outside since we both love the outdoors. I had been to a wedding in an orchard and loved that venue. Boa Ventura had a similar feel. It is slightly rustic, with wild flowers everywhere and a lot of great little details including a bocce ball court. There were animals around the property including a cat, a horse, a few dogs, and even a few chickens in a coup. This was perfect for the relaxed, community feel we wanted to create. Another bonus was that they didn’t dictate which vendors we had to use, allowing us to create a wedding that was unique and truly embraced who we are as individuals and as a couple.

How did you choose your florist, and the particular flower types and colors?

We bought our flowers from Trader Joe’s. The store has a designated person to order flowers. I went a few weeks before the wedding and we talked about what kinds of flowers we wanted and what was in season. She ordered the type, but couldn’t guarantee the colors. The day before the wedding, she let me pick through the order to choose the types and colors we wanted. We had Van Gough Sunflowers, red, yellow, orange gerbera daisies, and celosia flowers among many other flowers. We also had mint, lavender, and roses from a friend’s garden. The morning of the wedding, myself, the bridesmaids, my sister, and other friends made the bouquets and boutonnieres. The balcony of the hotel room where we were working was overlooking the pool where some of the kids from our wedding were swimming and playing. It was a lot of fun to be around all those flowers and have our loved ones laughing below. The centerpieces on the tables were potted organic herbs planted by myself  a week before the wedding.

What drew you to your other vendors?

We chose Whiskie Bits because we wanted something unique, and they had unusual flavors such as malted milk ball and strawberry rose cupcakes. They try to use only seasonal ingredients and organic when possible. It added another original touch to the wedding.

We chose Rebecca Wilkowski Photography because Rebecca is a warm, easy to talk to person, not to mention her photography is amazing.  I used to assist wedding photographers and understood that the wrong fit for a wedding photographer can be a big issue throughout the day. Tim was a photography major in college and has an eye for good photography. We knew Rebecca would not only beautifully capture our wedding day, but she’d also be a joy to have around for our special day…..and we were correct on both accounts!

What was your favorite part of day?
Krista: Surprising Tim and dancing flamenco for him. After my dance, Tim was laughing and crying at the same time
.
Tim: Our time alone together immediately after the ceremony. The owners of the winery let us hide in their garden on a bench and enjoy a glass of wine from their own cellar and a plate of the appetizers. It gave us a chance to connect and take in the ceremony before the party began.

What advice would you give to others on their wedding day?
Take time for just the two of you on the special day! We had about 15 minutes after the wedding ceremony, and our first sighting was just the two of us w/ our photographer. It is such a private moment between the bride and groom, but is usually done in front of everyone. It was nice to have it be just between us, yet captured on film.

If you loved the story and these photos, here’s a vendor list to help you in your own wedding planning:

Photographer: Rebecca Wilkowski Photography  – Rebecca Wilkowski Photography is a proud member of Green America’s Green Business Network, Greener Photography, Green Chamber of Commerce, and the Green Bride Guide, and is available to photography weddings world wide.  Wedding photography is Rebecca’s first love, which comes across in all of the photos she takes.  (blog: www.rebeccawilkowski.com/blog website: www.rebeccawilkowski.com)

Venue: Boa Ventura Winery in Livermore, CA. (http://www.boaventuravineyard.com/)

Groom’s attire: Suit bought from Nordstrom to reuse for years to come

Bridal dress & Veil: demo dress & demo veil from J’aime Bridal & Weddings in Pleasanton, CA. (www.jaimebridal.com)

Rings: Groom’s ring was bought on ebay. Bride’s engagement ring was his mothers & great-grandmother’s wedding-antique ring from Aura Jewelers in Berkeley, CA. (aurajewelers.com)

Bakery: Whiskie Bits Cupcakes (www.whiskiebits.com) used seasonal ingredients to make the scrumptious cupcakes.

Invitations: Recycled papers bought from Paper Source In Berkeley (www.paper-source.com), Flax Art & Design in San Francisco (www.flaxart.com), and Dick Blick’s in Berkeley (www.dickblick.com/stores/california/berkeley/). Invitations designed by bride, groom and a friend.

Center Pieces: Organic Herbs bought at Berkeley Horticulture (www.berkeleyhort.com/) & Westbrae Nursery (www.westbrae-nursery.com) and planted with Organic compost by bride and her mother

Beverages/bar: Home brewed beer, lovingly made by the bride and groom! All materials were recycled on site.

Caterer/Food: Organic Paella by Venga Paella (www.vengapaella.com), organic hors ‘d oeuvres made by friends

Table Linens & Decorations: Rented from Pleasanton Party Rentals in Pleasanton, Califonia. (www.pleasantonrentals.com) Re-used vases, candles, and candle holders from a friend’s wedding. Couple decided to rent everything instead of buy, as many of their friends had done previously, to save from more waste.

Honeymoon: Hacienda San Lucas, Ecolodge-Copan, Honduras (www.haciendasanlucas.com) This lodge is amazing with organic foods and organic coffee that is grown up the hill from the lodge.

Bridal Gift: Antique Earrings from Aura Jewelers in Berkeley, CA (aurajewelers.com)

Source: Ventana Inn, Murietta’s Well, Monarch Cove Inn, Madrona Manor

The lucky thing about us Northern California brides is that we have many different venue options at our fingertips! Anything from wine country to beach front is available within a short distance. The versitility of Northern California is great for any type of look, feel or view you are looking for.

This is a great feature if you know what you want. But for brides that don’t know, this feature becomes the problem because there are so many amazing options in any area you are interested in.

Securing the venue is the first step, yet it is the most challenging as well! Not only are you just getting your feet wet with the reality of your budget, it is also extremely important to find the space that fits your vision and your style.

Yep, there is a lot riding on the venue so don’t be rash in your decision making. Do the research and make sure that you are weighing all the options. If there is something you arent interested in compromising such as a guest maximum or no candles, then that place isn’t right for you. Move on and take the extra time to find something that you really are comfortable with! This is the space you will be planning your dream day in,  so don’t compromise your vision or your budget.

Sources such as Here Comes the Guide can be extremely helpful in your search. Once you have found some places you are interested in, try looking at google images of the space. That way you can see past weddings at those venues which will help you visualize the space a bit better.

Either way you do it, make sure you research your options and don’t compromise on your dream day! Whatever you choose, Northern CA is filled with many absolutely gorgeous venues, so you’ll be sure to have an amazing wedding!

By Erin Frank

There’s no doubt you’ll find your wedding unforgettable.  But what about your guests?  One of the big realizations my husband and I had when we were planning our nuptials is that while this day seems like it’s all about you, what you’re really doing is planning a fabulous party for your loved ones. It’s an opportunity to treat them to something truly memorable, so why not set the scene somewhere unusual?  Here in San Francisco there is one museum that has out-of-the-ordinary weddings down to a science.

The California Academy of Sciences is a wedding venue with a major wow factor.  I like the Academy’s honesty— they tell you up front on their site that you’ll need to drop a cool $18,500 for an all-access pass to the museum for the night. You and your guests get exclusive use of the Academy from 7pm until you turn into pumpkins (or simply head home) at midnight. Have your wedding in the middle of the rainforest, in front of a live coral reef in the aquarium, or bring a new meaning to the phrase “white wedding” when you tie the knot in front of an albino alligator.

The Academy knows you want things to go off without a hitch (other than actually getting hitched…). They have an exclusive Wedding Consultant, Jess Flood Event Design and Management. Let Jess worry about the details while you get dressed in a private, decorated wedding ready room.

Your guests will remember not just the vows, but also the sea creatures, mammals, butterflies, and more.  The California Academy of Sciences offers anything but a cookie-cutter wedding, and it could be just right for the Bay Area Bride looking for something that amazes.

California Academy of Sciences

55 Music Concourse Drive
San Francisco, CA 94118
(415) 379-8000

www.calacademy.org