Yes everyone, I am so excited to announce I found my wedding dress! It finally happened where I had that special moment everyone talks about. I got really overwhelmed by how beautiful it was and started to cry because I was that happy.

It all started last weekend when my fiancé and I went out to lunch in down town Redwood City in California. The view from our table looked out across the street and guess what was there? Yes, you guessed it a bridal boutique. How could I pass it up? The gorgeous white gown in the window drew me in like a fat girl to a piece of chocolate cake (I can say that because I am that girl). I asked my fiancé if he wouldn’t mind stopping in on our way out and he said, “sure”. Don’t worry he didn’t see the actual dress I chose.

The bridal boutique is called Mariel’s, which is family run and has been open for over 30 years. A mother and daughter team both named Mariel operate the store. The boutique carries designers such as La Sposa, Mori Lee, Moonlight Couture, Allure Bridal, Casablanca, Sottero Midgley, Winnie Couture and of course my dress which is a Maggie Sottero.

DRESS WITH MATCHING BOLERO

The day we went in after lunch they kindly let me look through all the dresses on the rack even though we had no appointment and they were quite busy. I asked the owner for an appointment for that coming Monday evening and I took the last opening.

When arriving back at the store I knew that this would be an interesting experience, since this store was filled with designer dresses with sample sizes ranging from 4 to an 8. There would be no actual trying on. Regardless, Mariel the daughter and her team of women treated me like the princess bride unexpectedly. Never did I feel uncomfortable for being plus size. They were honest with their opinions and when we found the right dress Mariel and my jaw dropped as we saw the garment beautifully against me. It was a fitted A-line gown a with corset closure. The style featured a notched neckline with a radiant beaded empire accent. The ruched bodice extended into this glamorous asymmetrical draping throughout the skirt. And the train pulls to the side hip in extraordinary fashion. It also had a bolero featuring a beaded motif on the lapel to complement the design of the dress. It was the most gorgeous thing that I have ever seen, to my taste of course. After a moment or two I realized this was it. There was no thinking or question about it. I started to tear up and I told them how happy and overwhelmed I was because I did not expect to find THE one that day. Which is why I didn’t bring anyone with me like my mother or bridesmaids. They took my measurements and information and I signed the papers acknowledging that there were no returns after ordering.

THE DRESS SHOWN IN DIAMOND WHITE ( MINE WILL BE IVORY)

CORSET BACK

Today, Wednesday I went back in to finalize payments and pick out my veil and rhinestone headband. They are both amazing and go perfectly with the dress. I can not wait till my dress comes into the store so I can try it on with my shoes and everything. I am so happy I have checked one more thing of my wedding to do list and I can hardly wait to report back to you how the entire outfit looks. More coming soon!

This weekend one of my bridesmaids is throwing a Bridesmaid “Meet & Greet” cocktail party for me. Because I have seven bridesmaids that are from different times of my life as well as from different circles of friends. This is why we thought it would be a good idea to get everyone together to officially meet, in this case over cocktails, music and food.

This party is an important step to the beginning of all the bridesmaid festivities i.e. the bachelorette party, the bridal shower and dress fittings. After all I am going to need to rely on them for help with the wedding as well as for them to be able to work as a team. And I can’t say I mind having this help. I enjoy the idea of having my friends kindly help me without even flinching, and this seems to be the normal reaction so far. To me it appears that bridesmaids in this day and age are more often used than not within a wedding. Which got me thinking, how did this tradition start?

The history of bridesmaids dates back to Roman times when an army of similarly dressed bridesmaids would accompany the bride to the new husband’s locale or village. In essence, these guards would protect the bride from robbers and bandits. So cool, but I don’t think I will need any protection in that way in 2010.

Later on the Romans made it a law to have 10 witnesses present at a wedding in order to ward off evil, magical spirits that were determined to destroy the marriage’s successful conception and progress. These attendants, both bridesmaids and groomsmen, dressed in identical clothes to the groom and bride, thus supposedly confusing the evil spirits that wished harm on the couple-to-be. Which is how we got the matching bridesmaid dress tradition for today’s weddings.

Today bridesmaids are the faithful, caring attendants of the bride at weddings. Usually, they are women that have some relational association to the upcoming bride, either a close friend or relative. They attend to the bride before and after a wedding ceremony. They’re usually the ones in the movies that keep the bride afloat, listen to her fears, cheer her on, help her with preparations, and pass on the collective excitement. The maid of honor is the most esteemed bridesmaid, and she plays a principal part. There is no fixed bridesmaid quantity because the decision has historically been left to the bride. The size of the bridesmaid group is sometimes associated, as a reflection, with wealth, success, or, obviously, how popular the bride is.

I am happy to have such wonderful friends and look forward to our experiences together as we prepare for my wedding in fall of 2010. I plan to update you more on my bridesmaids. But for now, I hope the party is all sorts of fun and that it will be the official kick off to my wedding.

You are probably wondering what N-Fini is in the first place. First off N-Fini Shape is fan of Plus Size Bride at bayareabrideguide.com. They are a company that sells quality shapewear sizes 0-30. I am thrilled to be contacted and thank them for introducing me to the best shape wear product I have ever experienced.

I was skeptical at first trust me. I have used many shapewear products from department stores including Spanx, which most women rave about. The truth is though the largest size I found in Spanx never fit me right. I guess because I am a tall and large woman.

I decided to give N-Fini Shape a chance and ordered a strapless cami dress undergarment. It happened to arrive in the mail on a day I had a girl friend over. So I gave my friend the “before” look with this cute little black cocktail dress on, and then the “after” look with the shape wear underneath the dress. Then I did the test of walking around and seeing if the fabric was cutting into my fat or if the garment was going to start rolling up under my dress. None of this happened. I could hardly believe it. I felt hot; I felt ready for a night out to show off my smooth curves. I would most definitely wear this under my wedding dress. I felt happy that there is a company who actually makes shape wear that works well for the very plus size.

I then read over the company look book, which is filled with product photos as well as info on the company and each garment they make. I was happy to find that they specialize in full figures. Thank you for the curve recognition! They actually create exclusive fabric on specially designed machines to produce larger sizes. Rather than a larger piece of fabric created on a standard machine. They call this their Tru-Plus garment that is created wider than standard shapewear. Typical plus size shapewear tends to make you feel compacted and uncomfortable and N-Fini does a fine job of making the garment feel like it was made for you personally. I only wish they could make my wedding dress this comfortable.

Along side this special fabric is a diamond shape fabric LYCRA feature. This I could tell was what sucked me in and made me look so good. There was extra support and shaping in the most needed places by the diamond support. It was extremely flexible yet helped firm my trouble areas.

The last special feature that makes this my new favorite under garment is that they put gel in a scalloped pattern on the hemlines. This is the secret to why it wasn’t rolling up or down. I looked at my other shapewear pieces and saw that they had a straight line, no wonder they didn’t work well.

I highly recommend this product and am happy I don’t have to write an article about how average or unflattering this shapewear is. Instead I can say its fantastic, and N-Fini where have you been all my life? This is what every curvy woman needs on a fat day or even on a not so fat one.  Check them out at http://www.n-fini.com and use this promotion code to save $25.00 off orders of $50.00 or more. Code: Divine25, which expires 4/30/10.

I want to first start of by saying this feels a bit selfish registering for gifts. I would say I have lived a simple life and never expected things to come my way. So it feels odd to be asking for gifts, just because we are getting married? What an interesting tradition. Looking at the greater picture of things I see that many people have expressed interest in being apart of our next chapter in life, and are equally as excited about it as my fiancé and I.  Friends and family keep asking us “what do you guys want or need?” So I suppose a registry will help get things started off right in married life. Looks like it will start with proper household items and a beautiful honeymoon vacation!

This past weekend we decided to face the registries and find what we needed. We debated Macy’s, Bloomingdales, Bed Bath and Beyond, and Target but decided to pick Target and Bed Bath and Beyond for their affordability. We also came to the conclusion that we wanted a honeymoon registry most of all.

We tackled the shopping part first. Our adventures started with a Club Wedd Registry at Target, which was not as easy or fast as I had imagined. After we arrived at Target and began the process we realized this was not just fun but also a serious task. It hit me, this was going to be for our first house together and we are registering for things that will be ours. More importantly I wanted everything to sort of go together as a whole, to have a certain warm welcoming vibe. I wanted to pick things that felt like us as a couple.

My fiancé helped me graciously pick colors, styles, and brands but after awhile started to lose interest and patience. At this point we had only made it down four isles and a whole hour had already passed. Yikes! Note to self warn your husband–to- be that this may take awhile and some serious patience. We energized with some coffee, thank you Starbucks for being inside of our local Target. We went on, I sent him off to find the perfect electronics for the house as well as some outdoor backyard stuff. Which is more his style of shopping than mine. After over three hours of the slowest well thought out shopping we have ever done together I am happy to report we picked all the things we needed from Target. Mainly natural colors for all the household items, stainless steel appliances and one kick ass outdoor patio set and fire pit. Yes, can you tell I am practically drooling over the patio set we found? I can’t wait to sit and have brunch out side with the dogs, or have family over on a warm summer night for an outdoor dinner to be followed by wine next to the fire pit. Okay I’ll stop dreaming for now.

Our second registry is at Bed Bath and Beyond where I the bride to be graciously went with out husband in hand to pick out our bed linens, flatware, and all the things that Target had but was not to our liking. I have to say I was surprised at how helpful the Bridal Registry Consultant was. She made my task to register the remaining items so much easier. I wish I had just started here and then went to Target for the rest, oh well. She happily greeted me with something to drink, a bride guide pamphlet to the store, a checklist and then walked with me to make recommendations and point me in the right direction. Thankfully my task was done in one short hour.

Lastly, our third registry, the one we are the most excited about. Which is our honeymoon registry. Without the help of our friends, family and fans, we would not be able to take one. After much research and through recommendation we decided to use http://www.honeyfund.com, which is a free honeymoon registry site designed for guests to contribute to different things related to your honeymoon i.e. airfare, dinners, hotel, champagne, day trips and more. We thought this was a fantastic idea and would be great for guests who would prefer to help give us an adventure of a lifetime rather than material items.

That ends the adventure of registries, one husband-to-be down, two coffees later, and one pair of very sore brides feet. I look forward to setting up our house and taking our vacation but most of all I cant wait till my Plus Size Bride Wedding happens in 243 days.

I want to thank you all in advance, and let you know we appreciate the gifts that help us on our journey together as husband and wife. If you are a hardcore “Plus Size Bride” fan you can view our registries here:

Target Registry: http://www.target.com/registry/wedding/3GZXEHH5DXA2O

Bed Bath and Beyond Registry: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/regGiftRegistry.asp?order_num=-1&wrn=%2D1488720286

Honeymoon Registry: http://www.honeyfund.com/wedding/meganandsam

Okay, okay, I’m admitting it; I am definitely addicted to sugar. I love myself a piece of 7-layer cake, lemon pound cake, chocolate chip cookies, brownies you name it. I am the ultimate sugar-a-holic. I am telling you this because today I am trying my best to not eat any, and oh my am I freaking out. I’m not so sure I can handle it; it’s hitting me now. I’m craving it, I want it, just give me some already.

This is like a diary of a fat woman, I swear. Except you all get to actually read it.  Trust me I would not normally announce this to the world. This is not the first time I have tried this either. I am trying to make an effort by supporting my fiancé who is also not eating sugar till the wedding. By the way did I mention its super easy for him to just stop? Not fair. Anyhow, I can’t even concentrate long enough to think of a bright idea on what to write to you all. So I am telling you what I am going through and that is my fight with sugar. Anyone else going insane not eating something?

By the way, if you see a crazy woman in the grocery store buying a piece of cake at 3AM say “hello” it’s probably me.

While planning our wedding I have been thinking in the back of my mind that my own grandmother probably won’t be attending. I love her dearly and was very close to her as a child. You are probably thinking why isn’t she going to attend? And no it’s not because we aren’t inviting her or that she doesn’t like my fiancé. My grandmother is unfortunately a fatist. Yes, you heard it right. She discriminates against fat people even though she is large herself.  She doesn’t tolerate people who are fat especially anyone in her family.

It makes me sad to share this news, however I hope this will help remind everyone that a fatist is a negative attribute. Our culture has made it clear that judging someone based on race or culture is wrong, but the same societal pressure is missing for the differently sized. I hope to get across this point to my grandmother so she can accept the millions of other things I am and not push me out of her life because I have gained an extra twenty pounds.

I have not had a chance to reach out to my grandmother however, today I hope I helped shape a young mind. A friend’s four year old asked me “why is your tummy big?” I took the opportunity and told her “because everyone’s bodies are different shapes and sizes, I like my round tummy and I like to eat. That’s why I have a tummy.” She smiled and hugged me as she said “I love it, it makes you so cozy.”  It was pure and simple.

So my task for you this week is to see how often you judge someone for his or her size. Then stop and instead try to think of something that is positive about that person. Remind yourself to not judge by appearance, especially something as vulnerable as someone’s size.

You can buy a “Fatism Sucks” button here:  http://www.cafepress.com/+fatism+buttons

Recently in the Bay Area as many of you may have already heard, director and actor Kevin Smith was reportedly booted off Southwest Airlines for being too fat for a single seat. Kevin Smith has twitted that he does fit in a single seat and can even buckle his seatbelt without a buckle extender.

However, a Southwest spokesperson said its “Customer of Size” policy requires that travelers must fit “safely and comfortably” in one seat – or make other arrangements. After hearing about this I suddenly started to worry about our up and coming honeymoon and the way we will be treated traveling as a plus size couple.

I began to research on this and I found that it is not only Southwest Airlines but also, United and Delta Airlines that enforce their policy of charging overweight passengers double if they can’t comfortably fit into one seat. The airline also could bump an overweight passenger if the flight is sold out and no extra seats are available. So the question is what can we do to avoid buying extra seats? Or if you are able to fit comfortable but not according to the airline; like Kevin Smith?

One suggestion I found is to find out ahead of time, prepare before you book a flight. You can look in advance the width of the seat on a flight by going to www.seatguru.com and click “charts.” Then you can sort by seat width, flight, type of aircraft, by airline or by type of service (such as international economy or domestic business class.) The difference can amazingly be as much as 2 inches in seat width.  This is great news for me because last time I flew I fit but I could feel the arm rests on my hips. I was certainly comfortable enough but wouldn’t mind that extra two inches. So before we book our flight from San Francisco to Florida to reach our cruise to the Bahamas. I will most definitely check the seat width ahead of time.

Image from HipsandCurves.com

It’s time to order the fun stuff. I am finally getting around to ordering my wedding lingerie. I do have quite the collection for every day use. However, I wanted to find something well made for my wedding day and smokin’ hot for my honeymoon. I normally buy my sexy attire at Lane Bryant stores but I have found a great online store called Hips & Curves. I am sure my fiancé will be happy with my findings. They have an amazing selection of lingerie, corsets, garters, leather, and fantasy costumes from sweet and sensual to down right racy. They are located in Southern California and opened for business in 2000. They aim to provide fabulous sexy lingerie that celebrates the sensuality of fuller figures. They focus exclusively on plus sizes to provide just the right amount of support, and enhancement to the body. I highly recommended this as the first, and possibly the last, place for you to look for plus size lingerie.

Image from HipsandCurves.com

Image from HipsandCurves.com

]]> http://bayareabrideguide.com/smokin%e2%80%99-hot/feed 4 http://bayareabrideguide.com/heavier-ever-after http://bayareabrideguide.com/heavier-ever-after#comments Sat, 06 Feb 2010 09:06:57 +0000 MeganPeters http://bayareabrideguide.com/?p=456 By Megan Peters

Have you heard the phrase  “avoid heavier ever after”? Well I just did while searching for ideas on how to shape up for the big day. Now I’m not so sure I am really all that into the whole dieting for your wedding thing. However, what got me looking into it is my fear of having bad pictures.  So in light of this fear I have been browsing online and finding different things to get me past my crisis. Some things I found were different ways to become a fit bride, fat positive, and the negative adds like “avoid heavier ever after”.

On becoming a fit bride I don’t feel inspired to go crazy dieting by doing many of the suggestions I saw online or joining any sort of mainstream weight loss company.

Instead I am inspired by the discovery of blogs I can relate to as the person I am today. Such as these blogs bigfatdeal.com and bigfatblog.com which are written by larger women. These blogs have helped me realize something I knew deep down all along but thanks to mainstream media lost recently.  I lost myself and the image of the woman I want to be on my wedding day, the person my fiancé fell in love with.  Not an unhappy, dieting, exercising 24/7, stressed out woman. I don’t need to be smaller like the media says I should be on my wedding day.

Finding these blogs even though they are not centered on being a plus size bride they focus on weight in our culture both positive and negative, size discrimination, fat acceptance and more. I finally feel like there is even more people out there that I can relate to. I am not the only large woman out there and I am not alone after reading these blogs.

After reading upsetting articles like “Bride Dumps Fat Bridesmaid Who Will Ruin Pictures” on bigfatdeal.com, and “Reason Number 3,767 to Not Shop at Whole Foods” on bigfatblog.com these brought me back to the reality that I like my body for the most part and wouldn’t want to be treated any differently than others just because I am big.

How sad that the “fat” bridesmaid was basically dumped from the wedding due to her appearance. And that Whole Foods now offers health-based employee discount, a higher discount off their products if you have a low body mass index.  Don’t you think the not so healthy employees with higher BMI’s would benefit from buying more of their wholesome food? I think so. This action that Whole Foods took on employee discount is the exact kind of thing that makes woman like me feel pressured to fit into our thinner society. Sure I could practically starve myself, exercise like crazy, or get weight loss surgery to get a better discount at Whole Foods (if I was an employee) or to wear that perfect off the runway wedding dress. However, regardless of my size I should be accepted and thought of as a beautiful person and beautiful bride. The bride I am is plus size, happy, curvy, fat, and I intend to enjoy my life that way.

Therefore I plan to continue with my life being somewhat healthy doing yoga, occasional exercise videos, walking the dogs twice a day, eating right sometimes, and perhaps lose a few pounds because of it.  But I accept that it is okay to be a plus size bride and to just be yourself on your big day. After all you do want to look back at your wedding pictures and recognize you for you and not look back and think “oh god I killed myself for months to look that skinny and just gained it all back plus more.”  So here I am heading towards my very special heavier ever after and I am not avoiding it, I cant wait.

By Megan Peters

Since I am always looking online for things I need for my wedding. I have finally stumbled upon a few gorgeous dresses and at unbelievable prices. If you look carefully and are patient you will find the pot of gold! I promise. Here is my favorite site I have found www.inweddingdress.com.  They actually carry sizes 2- 26w or you can custom size. This is perfect for me because not only am I large I am also 5’11’’ which means most ready made gowns are not long enough for me, another added hassle to my shopping. I have noticed not many plus size bridal sites will let you customize dresses and that’s why this site is a beauty. I am such a fan of the fit-n-flare styles as well as the A-line satin strapless dresses they carry. I am thinking maybe I will just order my top two favorites and then eBay the one I don’t want since they are all under $250.

Soon I will be making an appointment at Trudy’s, a bridal salon in the Bay Area that stock some in store plus size dresses. However, I am much more excited that they are having a “Gorgeous with Curves” fashion show in March than my dress appointment. The show will be featuring beautiful plus size bride’s size 18-24w. Maybe seeing someone my own size in a bridal gown for a change will get me more excited about shopping. Currently I am feeling a little bummed as I flip through bridal magazines and only seeing one to three pictures of plus size brides. Where is the representation? Come on now, don’t they know the average woman is a size 14?