How many of you have been out shopping for a bridesmaid dress?  I had the chance to experience the selection process first-hand, and it is not pretty.  I went to two shops, Bella Bridesmaid in Los Gatos, and Flair Bridesmaids in San Francisco.  The two stores are upscale and are light and airy inside, so I walked in hoping for the best.  However, they both let me down by their lack of selection.  To be honest, I am a little surprised that these types of stores even stay in business.

Photo By Liz Linder

Do not plan on coming out of a bridesmaid dress shop with a dress in your size.  Are you wondering why?  In most shopping situations you go into a store, try on clothes in different sizes and styles and make your purchase.  But, of course, at bridal salons they have to make it as hard as possible for you.  I consider myself to be an average size, but we had a really hard time finding anything in the styles that the bride liked that would actually fit on all of us so we could get an idea for how they fit.  It is so hard judging how a dress is going to fit when you are squeezing yourself into something that is too tight or clipping back something that is too big, and this happened at both stores I went to.

Once the bride picked a style, it was time to order the dress.  The largest size Flair Bridesmaids had on hand in the right style was a 6 (more like a typical size 4).  The bride shipped over a size 12 from Boston to have on hand for us to try on so we would have a better idea of how the dress would fit.  I think that was awesome, but why make it the bride’s responsibility and not just carry a few more sizes in each style at the store?

The woman at Flair Bridesmaids was kind enough (note the sarcasm) to measure me in front of their massive and uncovered window looking directly out to Polk Street and have me lift up my shirt to better measure my waist.  It was nice that she wanted the correct measurement, but was it really necessary for me to stand in front of the uncovered window and lift my shirt?? Am I really the only person this has happened to that was uncomfortable? After carefully taking my measurements she asked me what size I wanted.  Hmm, I thought her job was to help me choose a size?  Apparently based on my three measurements I am three different sizes so she was at a loss for suggestions.  This is where it got tricky…they did not have the two sizes I wanted to try on in the store so I had to guess which size would be best. The saleswoman recommended I buy the larger one to be safe (two sizes larger than I wear in my street clothes) and I could have it altered.

Do these people get paid referral fees for tailors? It seemed to me that I was almost surely going to need alterations based on her “recommendation”.  What do they really get paid for if they do not carry appropriate sizes for you to try on or assist you in picking the correct size?  When you are paying that much money for a dress, shouldn’t they make it available to try on?

What kind of experience did you have when picking your bridesmaid dress? Better? Worse?  I would love to hear your comments/recommendations for the next time I am in a wedding.

This weekend one of my bridesmaids is throwing a Bridesmaid “Meet & Greet” cocktail party for me. Because I have seven bridesmaids that are from different times of my life as well as from different circles of friends. This is why we thought it would be a good idea to get everyone together to officially meet, in this case over cocktails, music and food.

This party is an important step to the beginning of all the bridesmaid festivities i.e. the bachelorette party, the bridal shower and dress fittings. After all I am going to need to rely on them for help with the wedding as well as for them to be able to work as a team. And I can’t say I mind having this help. I enjoy the idea of having my friends kindly help me without even flinching, and this seems to be the normal reaction so far. To me it appears that bridesmaids in this day and age are more often used than not within a wedding. Which got me thinking, how did this tradition start?

The history of bridesmaids dates back to Roman times when an army of similarly dressed bridesmaids would accompany the bride to the new husband’s locale or village. In essence, these guards would protect the bride from robbers and bandits. So cool, but I don’t think I will need any protection in that way in 2010.

Later on the Romans made it a law to have 10 witnesses present at a wedding in order to ward off evil, magical spirits that were determined to destroy the marriage’s successful conception and progress. These attendants, both bridesmaids and groomsmen, dressed in identical clothes to the groom and bride, thus supposedly confusing the evil spirits that wished harm on the couple-to-be. Which is how we got the matching bridesmaid dress tradition for today’s weddings.

Today bridesmaids are the faithful, caring attendants of the bride at weddings. Usually, they are women that have some relational association to the upcoming bride, either a close friend or relative. They attend to the bride before and after a wedding ceremony. They’re usually the ones in the movies that keep the bride afloat, listen to her fears, cheer her on, help her with preparations, and pass on the collective excitement. The maid of honor is the most esteemed bridesmaid, and she plays a principal part. There is no fixed bridesmaid quantity because the decision has historically been left to the bride. The size of the bridesmaid group is sometimes associated, as a reflection, with wealth, success, or, obviously, how popular the bride is.

I am happy to have such wonderful friends and look forward to our experiences together as we prepare for my wedding in fall of 2010. I plan to update you more on my bridesmaids. But for now, I hope the party is all sorts of fun and that it will be the official kick off to my wedding.

Bridesmaids originated from the Roman law that required ten witnesses at weddings in order to fool evil spirits.  The bridesmaids and groomsmen were dressed identical to the bride and groom, confusing evil spirits and keeping them from  haunting the happy couple.  That tradition is now gone, and instead of dressing like the bride, the bride chooses bridesmaid dresses based on her preferences for style and color.

I recently entered into the realm of bridesmaid dresses, trying to appreciate different fabrics, slightly varied shades of color, and the numerous designers out there.  Every designer and dress teasing me with the promise of being a dress I can wear again

So far we have been to one store to try on dresses.  I was shocked to find out that the “cheap” dresses were $180, with prices increasing to nearly $500.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my friend and am happy to take part in her wedding, but what really is an appropriate price for a dress?  According to etiquette expert Judith Martin in her book Miss Manners on Weddings, “Contrary to rumor, bridesmaids are not obliged to entertain in honor of the bride, nor to wear dresses they cannot afford.”

I was also surprised by the lack of samples to try.  The dresses all came in only one size (4, 8, or 10) and one color.  I consider myself to be an average sized woman, and had trouble fitting in at least half of the samples.  Does this seem reasonable?  Shouldn’t dresses come in a variety of sizes and colors so you can really tell what you’re paying a few hundred dollars for?

I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions!